Easy Bake Oven

My friend told me if your feelings are so strong why don’t you just go there and reach out to him. Just go for it. What is she crazy? Is she trying to use my own blog against me? When I said ‘own it’, I was merely giving great advice. She further weakened me with a quote (I have a quote thing), “Never give up on something, you can’t go a day without thinking about.” As bitchy as we can come off, we are romantics…which makes me think of that quote from Vicky Cristina Barcelona, “Only unfulfilled love can be romantic.” I don’t want to ruin what I know is there…and I don’t know if part of it is because I’m afraid of hearing what I don’t want to…because even if the words are spoken that hurt me…I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the connection that is there is real and could not be nullified with a few words. One day even if one of us chose to turn our backs to it, the truth will still be the truth.

When I was little I wanted an Easy Bake Oven bad. I wasn’t allowed to use the oven in the kitchen, that was mommy’s. I wanted my own. My parents told me I “cried a river” for it…and eventually I got my oven. Only it wasn’t an oven – it was a box with a light bulb in it. A light bulb, seriously? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

What if I go for it and get it? What happens if I don’t? I guess I’m saying I’m more afraid to give up hope just for a lousy light bulb. How have you bargained for denial rather than disappointment?